Lifestyle Enchantments

When everything has its own place, it belongs somewhere and can be quickly returned home. Clutter accumulates from putting things in random places, because they do not have a specific location to call their own. If something doesn’t belong anywhere, how can you put it away? Purging your home of unnecessary, unused, or broken items keeps your spaces free to house the things you love and need. There came a point in time where I had to tell my grandmother that although I loved the cute thrift finds she enjoyed buying the girls, that eventually I just had too much stuff. The girls would dump their clothing bins to find their go-to favorites, leaving things out to get dirty and needing washed without having been worn. They would spend too too much time admiring their options, then end up not choosing anything. I can’t explain the feeling that would come over me as they’d sit naked, eating breakfast after I just washed and folded laundry for 24hrs, plus prepared options for them that morning...

I believe the energy in your home is affected not just by the people who live there, but also through the possessions kept and how. As in Feng Shui , energy can become blocked or drained from your home and you by the things you surround yourself with. I can become immediately overwhelmed the second I wake, just seeing a dish pile in the sink or a laundry mountain on the couch. Responsibilities I left myself the day before, knowing I would regret it and probably feel defeated before the day would begin. If I’m always cleaning, but my house is never clean, I can conclude that we have too much stuff.  We all know how severe hoarding affects people who struggle with an obsessive attachment to possessions. Yet, even on a smaller scale, too much of anything can become difficult to maintain and keep orderly. Growing up in an “over-crowded” environment made me predisposed to being extremely uncomfortable and burdened by clutter. I try my best to stay on track with routine chore...

Parenting is the greatest challenge one can experience in their lifetime, and the degree of difficulty varies for everyone. No two people are alike, but despite this, we pair up and create more unique strangers. We then have to set our priorities aside, and help these little beings learn all about the world and themselves, while most likely not knowing much about life ourselves. If all goes well, an unconditionally loving relationship will have formed between two random personalities. In that instant a family is formed and society places standards and obligations on parents to be deemed eligible guardians to their own offspring. The vagueness of family medical history available to me, has prevented any attempts to determine if my afflictions stem from genetics or upbringing. This question of nature versus nurture that so many of us try to decipher is, in my opinion, a senseless endeavor. If one does not find the answer they are wanting to receive, they will then proceed to ...

I am inviting everyone who may struggle like I do with mental health and/ or addiction to join me as I share my journey and what I do to maintain a stable home with my family and how I take responsibility for my personal wellness as a mother of three. I released a memoire of sorts last year and have decided to revise it and create a workbook to easily share he process I have come to rely on to keep me healthy and productive. I'm not sure to label this as some sort of free workshop, cause I'm not really trying to teach anyone , just offer the tools and mindset I use in my own life. No matter, I will be doing my best to host this wellness journey for whom ever is willing and wanting to participate. I hope you will join me by subscribing to Lifestyle Enchantments for the newest posts and free printables I will be providing for you to plan, organize, or journal along with me. Here's a cute autumn mood tracker to color! A freebie I just created for myself.  October M...

          A child's emotional responses are almost always genuine based on the fact that they cannot yet fully comprehend the exact nature of what they are feeling. Whenever discipline is being enforced in our household, the oldest girls often respond with outlandish claims against their father and me. For example, I don't love them if I don't let them watch YouTube.            When my oldest throws a temper tantrum, our home can become a war zone. Toys are tossed across the room, craft projects are hastily shredded into confetti, and she makes sure the whole neighborhood knows how much disdain she has for her parents. It takes a lot for me not to stir up a spat with my toddler.           Being the only adult in the situation, it is my responsibility to keep myself under control. I have to step back, take a deep breath, put my emotions to the side and talk myself through the situat...

We all know the old playground rhymes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How about, “I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say to me, bounces off and sticks to you.” These were defense mechanisms against teasing when I was little. I’m sure they still are. I am very sensitive to how much input my brain is getting at one time. Noise is my biggest trigger. “I can’t hear myself think!” is a common declaration I make on a regular basis. Even a happy atmosphere can become overwhelming; joyful children’s music alongside their screams of excitement and giggles of delight, can quickly turn into chaotic desire to scream “SHUT UP!” to the world. But the only ones to hear this cry of anger are the children. They will process it as them being the reason for your misery, since they cannot see inside your mind and wouldn’t understand it anyway if they could. It pains me to admit, being verbally cruel to my children, even unintentionally, has been an ...

              Correcting bad behavior, however you have decided discipline takes form in your home, must be consistent. Administering empty threats and endless ultimatums to our children will lead them to believe we’re lying about the consequences of their actions. For it is the parent’s behavior which is unstable and unpredictable. Especially if you lose your cool frequently. Towering over your toddler yelling is only going to make him/her zone out wondering what's wrong with you or frighten them to tears. Either way, they're not learning anything from the hysterical rantings of your meltdown.                 Always get yourself calm back down first. Take a minute before you react to catch yourself: count to 10, drink some water, walk around the house, take deep breaths. Whatever you need to do for emotional preservation, do it. When you are able to peacefully interact with your child, go to them to i...

              At times when I have lost my temper, the shame and guilt prevent me from taking responsibility and discussing the situation with the girls. I convince myself that they hate me, and I have failed them as a mother. By the time I get out of self-loathing, I lie to myself that the time has passed to make amends and I should just ignore it. But know this... It's never too late to apologize to your child.  Admitting when you were wrong in your actions and behaviors teaches your child that it is okay to have intense feelings, but to also take responsibility for those feelings when they affect others. The mother and child gain some experience in humility and a greater understanding of each other that can help straighten out future entanglements. It is of utmost importance that we remember to take care to show and remind our little ones how much we love them. This love should be unconditional and infinite, extending beyond their lif...

               Just one or two days of dragging behind the daily grind, can create a week's worth of catching up on everything from bills to laundry. Prepping and planning routines for my family is a major life saver for us. I prepare meals, clothes, and activities. If I don’t simplify the number of things I need to accomplish, I usually become very overwhelmed and fail to get through the tasks at hand.  The mornings are the toughest for me, especially now that my oldest is needing to catch the bus.  I like to do a late-night sweep around the house for everyone’s necessities and pick out school clothes she needs for the following day. That way, I’m not thrown off schedule, digging in the laundry for that must-have shirt my daughter refuses to leave the hose without.  Mindful Minute: Do you experience obstacles and delays in your routine on a regular basis? Does this occur due to organization or something else?  What are so...

            Growing up, I know my family did their best to understand and be of any assistance to me and my unstable emotions, but at some point, all options run dry.                Today, my partner is willing, understanding, compassionate, and always wants to know how I’m feeling. If he observes me getting distracted in a new project, he supports me by keeping the kids busy, freeing me to indulge in a craft or project. If depression is creeping up, and I've become distant with the girls and lame in my housekeeping, he’ll wash some dishes and laundry then ask if I want help with the rest of our home. I’m blessed that this is who he is. But sometimes it may be necessary to let your family know what kind of support you need. Many of us have probably reached the point where family and friends no longer know how to help us even if we were to reach out. The help may be simply unavailable, people have t...

Even when it seems we have everything together and can face each day with a sound mind and healthy determination, this can lead to the delusion that we are indestructible and begin to completely neglect our simplest human needs. I feel amazing when I’ve accomplished my cleaning for the day, prepared healthy meals for everyone, and have the girls bathed and in bed, reading them stories. After that I prep them for school the next day, fold some more laundry while squeezing in a Netflix episode, before passing out for the night. Just to wake up early the following morning to string it all together and start again. Three days later, I feel depleted and disgusting, realizing I haven’t showered or eaten a decent meal for myself in the past few days. Taking care of our loved ones is a mother’s main job, but when we neglect ourselves, we become worn out and sometimes resentful.  Mindful Minute: Do you experience manic episodes, hyper awareness, or any “indestructible” feelings in your bein...

             Athleticism and fitness have always been a top priority in my lifestyle. Beginning in my toddler years, my mom placed my sister and me in gymnastics, which I carried on trying a couple forms of dance and in later years would try out for cheerleading. In 7 th grade I joined track and was actually good. Too bad I had discovered smoking with the group of kids I was strongly influenced by at the time. The habit, and the “image” that came with it, took precedence over me developing a new skill or talent. Ultimately, I lacked the confidence and self-discipline necessary to accomplish the dreams and goals I had laid out for myself. Something similar happened to playing violin and learning French as well.              Maintaining a healthy level of fitness in today's society can be difficult. We can accomplish about 80% of our daily tasks with some sort of mechanical assistance or short cut. ...

I get a ton of questions about my high-spirited energy levels, and often bubbly disposition. This is of course not derived from any substance abuse or manic episodes, just to be clear. I find my body obviously functions based on the type of nutrition, or lack of, I put in it. I have been raising my girl’s based on my knowledge of herbalism, holistic wellness, metaphysics, and anything I picked up from my grandmother being an RN for over 60 years. Also, being raised by a culinary chef, my mother, I have established a particular passion for food, cooking, and nutrition. My social media pages are littered in recipes and cute plate arrangements. Pictures, I'm sure have my hungry family, patiently giving me a mommy moment behind camera, while they stare at their dinner getting cold. It doesn’t take much effort to be honest with yourself and acknowledge that the reason you feel like a melted bowl of ice cream is because you ate one. If your diet mostly consists of cheeseburgers and fries...

Body confidence was definitely a trait I lacked during my early teen and young adult life. I have always been very petite, but with an angular, athletic build. Girls and boys alike would make jokes at my appearance.  Everything from accusations of having an eating disorder, to the way my clothes fit since we didn’t have a lot of money and I was too small to fit the trendier junior sizes. Throughout my middle school years, I was always looking for ways to augment my appearance and add some “curvature” to my physique. Anything to look like what I thought I needed to, in order to be accepted.  I maintained this insecure existence into adult life and motherhood. I had hoped pregnancy would help me produce a more mature figure, but it was just not meant to be. Morning sickness had played me for all nine months with all three children. Each pregnancy I struggled to keep down food and would wither away into nothing more than a frail and fragile incubator. The girls each took so much ...

It is no secret to those that are around me on a regular basis, that my love for Instagram and capturing everyday moments and turning them into beautiful digital keepsakes is a hobby and obsession of mine. I have wasted countless hours surfing the many social media platforms, willingly brainwashing myself with way too much information to discern in the time it is absorbed. Always searching for scientific or metaphysical evidence of the information I am being fed and hoping to miraculously heal my body and recover the spark I had in my earlier years to be fit, active, and healthy. Social media platforms such as YouTube and Instagram make looking for real information on holistic health difficult and finding promising influencers without hidden agendas can be complicated.  That "girl next door" you adore so much, maybe secretly suffering from an eating disorder and not being truthful about how she maintains such a beautiful build. While on the other hand, the seemingly "sup...

If you have decided to change your lot in life and are ready to put in the work for your aspirations and goals, then it’s time to decide what those are. Your new ‘wants’ in life might be completely different than you may have had, say, 5 years ago... or exactly the same. Time coupled with any life obstacle can change around priorities. Every few years, I do a little journal exercise where I write a pretend entry that is set 5 years or so in the future. This helps me think about where I want to be and what I hope to be doing by that time. Doing this moves my hopeful dreams into an obtainable reality and I gain confidence in myself to make it come true. When you do this, it is most important you write in the present tense, as if you are now living this life you are describing. This is a form of manifesting with intention and not just creating a list of wishes to collect dust. Always longing for things as though they feel unobtainable, makes it so. You have to believe it to be your and in...

          Being diagnosed with mental illness and an addictive personality, was a difficult reality to accept at such a young age. I tried many different types of recovery programs, one being a trial school for teens struggling with dependency. I was expelled, but it has since become a major establishment.            As a young adult, my efforts for sobriety disappeared. I wanted so badly to be “normal” and go out partying with other people my age. I felt lonely and shut out, despite my efforts. Believe me, I tried. Yet the harder I desperately struggled to live how I wanted, the worse my life became. I embarrassed myself all constantly, hurt my family and friends, and damaged my relationships.           Putting myself in rehab was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I knew in my heart that if I didn’t, I would have continued on my self-destructive path, dragging my family down...

To change your life, you need to change your mindset. Could be difficult to stay positive and optimistic toward future goals, when one is constantly dwelling on past mistakes, regrets and tribulations. You have to clean out your mind. Throw away regrets and take out the trash. Dust off the cobwebs from your perception so you can start seeing more clearly. Don’t live like a hoarder inside yourself, trapped in misery by your own personal collection of anguish. Focused therapy or one-on-one recovery work is sometimes necessary to sort out dark history, resentments, and delusions. You have to untangle the past to straighten out your future. Mindful Minute: What delusion are you holding onto? What lies do you tell yourself that are keeping you sick? What resentments are you still clinging to? Why is it so difficult for you to let these ideas go? What do you think will happen if you set yourself free from delusions and resentments?

I am certainly not the person I had hoped I would grow up to be… not yet anyways. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, have a beautiful family, take care of lots of children (5 at least…), turn one of my creative hobbies into a small business, and just enjoy experiencing life with my loved ones around me.  I often prayed to God and wished on stars for such a life. Whether it was faith or law of attraction (call it what you will), I was greatly blessed with the life and family I dreamed of. The problem was, I was also cursed with a nightmare riddled with anxiety, depression, rage, alcoholism, drug addiction and overall mental and spiritual weakness. I could sulk and whine about my misfortune. I could choose to waste away the days crying about being bestowed such a beautiful responsibility yet being emotionally incapable of managing everything. It's so easy to get engulfed by surrounding negativity and give up on yourself.      There is no time for that. Yo...