Self-Acceptance

Body confidence was definitely a trait I lacked during my early teen and young adult life. I have always been very petite, but with an angular, athletic build. Girls and boys alike would make jokes at my appearance. 

Everything from accusations of having an eating disorder, to the way my clothes fit since we didn’t have a lot of money and I was too small to fit the trendier junior sizes. Throughout my middle school years, I was always looking for ways to augment my appearance and add some “curvature” to my physique. Anything to look like what I thought I needed to, in order to be accepted. 

I maintained this insecure existence into adult life and motherhood. I had hoped pregnancy would help me produce a more mature figure, but it was just not meant to be. Morning sickness had played me for all nine months with all three children. Each pregnancy I struggled to keep down food and would wither away into nothing more than a frail and fragile incubator. The girls each took so much life force from me, I was barely able to provide them with a quality residence. 

Pregnancy and motherhood have changed the way I look at my body. Post-partum, I would gladly get back to feasting, but overly attentive to my diet, as I breastfeed my girls. Monitoring how I treated my body, helped me learn how to improve myself. Becoming a mother, many of my insecurities dissipated as I grew to accept them as unique or significant. The nose I never liked, now looked cute as ever all snarled up on my grumpy toddler face. And how lucky I feel to have a tiny chest after lugging size C milk jugs around for years. Scars that become pregnancy keepsakes.

Now being a mature age, I know how my body interacts with food and fitness. I can maintain my energy levels and mood by paying attention to what goes into my meals. Exercise is no different. Exactly what I put focused energy into becomes visible results in my physique and daily endurance.

Even if I find there is something about myself, I am unhappy with, I take care to look inside for why this might be. Sometimes our insecurities manifest from a fear we may not know we have.

Mindful Minute:

• What do you see when you look in the mirror?
• How would you judge this person you are looking at?
• If your judgmental statements were said by someone else, how would that make you feel?
• Are you content and comfortable with yourself as you are? Why or why not?
• What would you change about yourself? 
• Why do you want to make this change? 
• Do you believe you are capable of making the change? Why or why not?