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Sick & Tired

I am certainly not the person I had hoped I would grow up to be… not yet anyways. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, have a beautiful family, take care of lots of children (5 at least…), turn one of my creative hobbies into a small business, and just enjoy experiencing life with my loved ones around me. 

I often prayed to God and wished on stars for such a life. Whether it was faith or law of attraction (call it what you will), I was greatly blessed with the life and family I dreamed of. The problem was, I was also cursed with a nightmare riddled with anxiety, depression, rage, alcoholism, drug addiction and overall mental and spiritual weakness. I could sulk and whine about my misfortune. I could choose to waste away the days crying about being bestowed such a beautiful responsibility yet being emotionally incapable of managing everything. It's so easy to get engulfed by surrounding negativity and give up on yourself.

     There is no time for that. Young children need a nurturing and stable parent at all times. Regardless of the trials that have been placed in my life, I could never give up on my children. They are the reason I stepped foot on the road to recovery. They need me and I need them. I chose their lives and mine. When I made that decision, I knew I was willing to do whatever it took for us to maintain a happy, healthy life together. It seemed impossible at the time, and I had no idea where to turn, but I knew I needed solutions and was prepared to change anything that did not fall into our best life.


Mindful Minute:

  • Do you bully yourself? In what way?
  • Does self-pity and depression occupy most of your time and drain you of energy?
  • Is anxiety and stress distracting you from your children and responsibilities?
  • Are you ready to give up whatever is keeping you from being a nurturing parent?
  • Are you prepared to choose life, confront the shadows of yourself, and climb out of the darkness?
  • Take a minute to write a goodbye letter to the destructive, distracted and distraught you, old habits and useless ways of living, that they may never return to lay chaos on your family. As always, your intention must be true. You have to believe this of yourself to be true.
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