Skip to main content

Sick & Tired

I am certainly not the person I had hoped I would grow up to be… not yet anyways. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, have a beautiful family, take care of lots of children (5 at least…), turn one of my creative hobbies into a small business, and just enjoy experiencing life with my loved ones around me. 

I often prayed to God and wished on stars for such a life. Whether it was faith or law of attraction (call it what you will), I was greatly blessed with the life and family I dreamed of. The problem was, I was also cursed with a nightmare riddled with anxiety, depression, rage, alcoholism, drug addiction and overall mental and spiritual weakness. I could sulk and whine about my misfortune. I could choose to waste away the days crying about being bestowed such a beautiful responsibility yet being emotionally incapable of managing everything. It's so easy to get engulfed by surrounding negativity and give up on yourself.

     There is no time for that. Young children need a nurturing and stable parent at all times. Regardless of the trials that have been placed in my life, I could never give up on my children. They are the reason I stepped foot on the road to recovery. They need me and I need them. I chose their lives and mine. When I made that decision, I knew I was willing to do whatever it took for us to maintain a happy, healthy life together. It seemed impossible at the time, and I had no idea where to turn, but I knew I needed solutions and was prepared to change anything that did not fall into our best life.


Mindful Minute:

  • Do you bully yourself? In what way?
  • Does self-pity and depression occupy most of your time and drain you of energy?
  • Is anxiety and stress distracting you from your children and responsibilities?
  • Are you ready to give up whatever is keeping you from being a nurturing parent?
  • Are you prepared to choose life, confront the shadows of yourself, and climb out of the darkness?
  • Take a minute to write a goodbye letter to the destructive, distracted and distraught you, old habits and useless ways of living, that they may never return to lay chaos on your family. As always, your intention must be true. You have to believe this of yourself to be true.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Clutter & Chaos

I believe the energy in your home is affected not just by the people who live there, but also through the possessions kept and how. As in Feng Shui , energy can become blocked or drained from your home and you by the things you surround yourself with. I can become immediately overwhelmed the second I wake, just seeing a dish pile in the sink or a laundry mountain on the couch. Responsibilities I left myself the day before, knowing I would regret it and probably feel defeated before the day would begin. If I’m always cleaning, but my house is never clean, I can conclude that we have too much stuff.  We all know how severe hoarding affects people who struggle with an obsessive attachment to possessions. Yet, even on a smaller scale, too much of anything can become difficult to maintain and keep orderly. Growing up in an “over-crowded” environment made me predisposed to being extremely uncomfortable and burdened by clutter. I try my best to stay on track with routine chore...
Post a Comment
Read more

Seasonal Cleaning: Plan, Purge, Prepare

When Autumn rolls around I tend to get nostalgic for all the cozy aesthetics and comfort of the season, eager to jump straight into my favorite lounge set and start writing out my ' Fall Food Favorites' shopping list!  But then, I catch a glimpse of the reality around me... unsigned school papers and musty laundry mountains, unwashed cookware and an over-worked sponge... this IRS notice of from my boutique flop two years ago. I can easily become lost and overwhelmed by the chaos summer fun and new school excitement left behind. Having three young children, the pressure is on. I am fully aware I will be taking on this battle alone. It's the perfect time to get my household back in order and  prepare our space to be enjoyed as we spend more chilly days inside, with each other. I'm getting into the season with a deep clean of our home and work spaces, a well as our energetic environment. 1. PLAN For me, it must ALL start with planning! I first start out  by printing...
Post a Comment
Read more

Autumn Equinox

As cooler winds blow in and the daylight lessens, we can see the end of summer upon us. It is time to say goodbye to the solar energy that radiates over the Earth during the light half of the year. The same should be done for the energy in your home and personal spaces. The foggy and crisp part of the year brings a calmness still enough to make you confront the skeletons in your closet. Clean & Declutter Smoke cleansing and smudging are my top choice for natural cleaning. I also like to use a sage or rosemary essential oil with a simple vinegar/water solution to cleanse my surfaces and things around my home, work, and spiritual spaces. Ritual Detox Bath A deep physical cleanse of the body through a rich bath of salts and bentonite clay can pull out toxins and stagnant energy. In preparation of this introspective season exfoliate with intent to remove the dirty parts of yourself you no longer wish to carry. Purge Negative Influence If ...
Post a Comment
Read more