Lifestyle Enchantments

          A child's emotional responses are almost always genuine based on the fact that they cannot yet fully comprehend the exact nature of what they are feeling. Whenever discipline is being enforced in our household, the oldest girls often respond with outlandish claims against their father and me. For example, I don't love them if I don't let them watch YouTube.            When my oldest throws a temper tantrum, our home can become a war zone. Toys are tossed across the room, craft projects are hastily shredded into confetti, and she makes sure the whole neighborhood knows how much disdain she has for her parents. It takes a lot for me not to stir up a spat with my toddler.           Being the only adult in the situation, it is my responsibility to keep myself under control. I have to step back, take a deep breath, put my emotions to the side and talk myself through the situat...

We all know the old playground rhymes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How about, “I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say to me, bounces off and sticks to you.” These were defense mechanisms against teasing when I was little. I’m sure they still are. I am very sensitive to how much input my brain is getting at one time. Noise is my biggest trigger. “I can’t hear myself think!” is a common declaration I make on a regular basis. Even a happy atmosphere can become overwhelming; joyful children’s music alongside their screams of excitement and giggles of delight, can quickly turn into chaotic desire to scream “SHUT UP!” to the world. But the only ones to hear this cry of anger are the children. They will process it as them being the reason for your misery, since they cannot see inside your mind and wouldn’t understand it anyway if they could. It pains me to admit, being verbally cruel to my children, even unintentionally, has been an ...

              Correcting bad behavior, however you have decided discipline takes form in your home, must be consistent. Administering empty threats and endless ultimatums to our children will lead them to believe we’re lying about the consequences of their actions. For it is the parent’s behavior which is unstable and unpredictable. Especially if you lose your cool frequently. Towering over your toddler yelling is only going to make him/her zone out wondering what's wrong with you or frighten them to tears. Either way, they're not learning anything from the hysterical rantings of your meltdown.                 Always get yourself calm back down first. Take a minute before you react to catch yourself: count to 10, drink some water, walk around the house, take deep breaths. Whatever you need to do for emotional preservation, do it. When you are able to peacefully interact with your child, go to them to i...

              At times when I have lost my temper, the shame and guilt prevent me from taking responsibility and discussing the situation with the girls. I convince myself that they hate me, and I have failed them as a mother. By the time I get out of self-loathing, I lie to myself that the time has passed to make amends and I should just ignore it. But know this... It's never too late to apologize to your child.  Admitting when you were wrong in your actions and behaviors teaches your child that it is okay to have intense feelings, but to also take responsibility for those feelings when they affect others. The mother and child gain some experience in humility and a greater understanding of each other that can help straighten out future entanglements. It is of utmost importance that we remember to take care to show and remind our little ones how much we love them. This love should be unconditional and infinite, extending beyond their lif...

               Just one or two days of dragging behind the daily grind, can create a week's worth of catching up on everything from bills to laundry. Prepping and planning routines for my family is a major life saver for us. I prepare meals, clothes, and activities. If I don’t simplify the number of things I need to accomplish, I usually become very overwhelmed and fail to get through the tasks at hand.  The mornings are the toughest for me, especially now that my oldest is needing to catch the bus.  I like to do a late-night sweep around the house for everyone’s necessities and pick out school clothes she needs for the following day. That way, I’m not thrown off schedule, digging in the laundry for that must-have shirt my daughter refuses to leave the hose without.  Mindful Minute: Do you experience obstacles and delays in your routine on a regular basis? Does this occur due to organization or something else?  What are so...